Evil Web Site Design – a satirical Web Site proposal


As promised as while back … and its a friday, funday, and as the book Evil by Design suggests creating a web site/strategy applying some of the pattens I thought it would fun to create my take on using some of the evil designs in a fictious web site/strategy.

Three hours later here it is – unpolished but the kernal is there. Enjoy the result of an unfettered amoral thought process.

General Description of Proposal

Ice Creams By Post is heavily Angel backed new business. The investers (mugs to me and you) have backed the opportunity to the tune of thousands of euro cents. The founders of the business require a innovative web e-comernce site and strategy because they only have business degrees/MBA’s and we know what that means – techno illiterates with a complex who think having tens of thousands of facebook friends is the rasion d’etre of e-comerce and will interfere at every step just to prove their ignorance.

We at AmoralDesignsCorp have been asked to provide a proposal  – but nothing is free so we asking for a percentage of the company plus some readies (money to our non english and non english-english speaking friends) up front.

Objectives

  • sell ice creams by post (pretty ovious)
  • ice cream acquisitiion should be a social event (collect the set, invent your own flovours, leader boards … etc)
  • quick customer base growth (SOE and all that shit)
  • high customer return/retension (um … not really our business what’s it doing here)

Proposal

A basic e-comerce site based on a PHP framework (Drupal/Joomla) with the e-comerce component and additional social modules interacting with the free phone app game..

Gamification Components

The game

Working title: Gelat – Icecream Delivery Warrior(ess)

A 2D game with top-down viewing angle with stearing control by phones/tablets accellorator.

Goal

The goal of the game is to deliver ice cream from the shop to an address thorugh a crowded city hoping the ice cream dosn’t melt before the delivery is made. On the way the player will have to avoid various obsticals and fines.

Initial game Configuration

Players begin with a battered Paggio APE van – they can spend reward points gained through purchasing ice cream, completing senerios, or simply purchasing reward points with real money on various customisations.

Obstacles

  • rival ice cream delivers (race to address, micheal schumaker road tatics etc.)
  • traffic lights, zebra crossings, lolly-pop ladies, road works, traffic jams, oil spills, pot holes etc.
  • the police, health inspectors, Google streetview vans, SOPRA enforcers, FBI, CIA, NKVD, MI5 agents and IP lawyers (if delivering a patened flavoured ice cream).
  • car jackers, bandits, mariachi bands, aliens, squirrels, and terrorists

Reward System

The reward system should be time limited and based on two configurations: rewards that can be applied to purchasing and those that are applied to in-game reward.

  • Order Ice cream from sites
  • Write review on icecreambypost website (extra for providing nice review)
  • Write good review on secondary sites
  • Anwering popup questions
  • Introducing new customers

Buyable Customisations

  • paint, lights, glowing signs, internet advertising panels (um .. IP that ASAP)
  • turbo charges, suspensions, engines, superchargers etc.
  • Icecream catapult launchers, ice lolly guns. cone hand granade luanchers etc.

Other verticals are available at various reward points cost

  • FIAT 500 van (60’s version)
  • Citreon CV2 van
  • Bedford Ice Cream Van
  • Ford Transit Ice Cream Van
  • Range Rover Ice Cream Van
  • WWII King Tiger Tank

Web Site Badges and Leader Boards

etc ..

Oh nearly forgot I was listening to Corsica Radio while designing the propasal – now listerning to Hasta Siempre

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